If God is so Good, Why Is Mark Brunell Brizoke?

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter


Ex-NFL QB Mark Brunell filed for chapter 11 bankruptcy.

A few years ago my friend, while working for a high-end suit company, was at a store when Mark Brunell came in and my friend was dealing with him. He said Brunell is as Jesus-tastic as one can be, and uses his perceived position with god to be an a-hole. My friend, who had zero reason to lie to me, told me this years ago and said that Brunell was 1. just a prick, and 2. would bless people. Like literally make the sign of the cross and act like he was bestowing some sacred gift upon them. It seemed like Brunell himself felt Christ-like and was gifting everyone with his sanctity- whether they wanted it or not. My friend it was condescending, unwelcome, creepy, annoying, unintelligent and just plain rude and annoying. Apparently everyone there found his pious philanthropy to be selfish and just making a scene and was acting like the most annoying Bishop of all time.

Apparently he forgot to bless his bank account. It makes one wonder why Jesus doesn't bankrupt every non-believer. Or why, if Mark Brunell truly did have a hotline to God as he seemed to feel he did, does he have zero legacy in the NFL.

How about this Brunell, how about anyone with an asset/debt ratio of LESS than NEGATIVE $19.2 mil, blesses YOU instead of you blessing them. Because, let's face it, Jesus obvious likes that person a lot more than he likes you. But if/when Brunell meets someone with debts of $19.201 or higher, he is then allowed to bless them.

Thanks for coming out, Mark.






That's how I roll.

Bad Day for Jesusophiles

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter


A Hallmark-level, yet successful painter and crazed Christian, Thomas Kinkade did some stinko drivin. If Jesus is so good why does your art suck and why did you just get popped for endangering lives if you love him so much? Weird. It's almost like he's unintelligent.

$700,000 damage was done to Jesus in Monroe, Ohio. Jesus was struck down by lightning. Maybe a dyslexic somewhere said, "May I strike God down with lightning! Wait, I meant may God strike ME down!", but it was too late.


Better luck next week, Jesus.



P.S. Have you ever been so drunk that you have heckled Siegfried and Roy? Thomas Kinkade has.





That's how I roll.